week 7-done

thank fully another week is over. I am not sure how much more I can take though. I really am finding it hard at night only because I feel hungry 30minutes prior to each meal. I have increased my protein consumption at each meal as this is what my body seems to need. At night though I really feel like snacking. Anyway this week was good as I went back on Energized Xpand-gee that stuff is Faboo. I am already thinking about the future goals. Mainly to take a year off and train hard and gain more muscle mass and then do the Open of figure perhaps in ANB maybe novice in Figure INBA. Tim STILL doesnt know that I am doing figure but all my girlfriends that are coming to see me do-they are keeping it MUM. I want to encourage all of you out there to keep up the hard work and remember-your can either in seven weeks time-look back on this time and go thank goodness I kept going and did the comp-achieved that goal. Otherwise you'll be looking back and going gee-its comp day I could have been up on that stage if I kept on Truckin!. Yesterday I got my kikini(Bikini) and made sure it matched my hairpiece for the comp. I practiced some posing routine but really need to get down and practice the mandatory poses-they suck right now. I have had a change of heart and have decided to train on my own and not with a trainer next year and use the Cathy Savage DVD and other Posing DVDs to learn from-closer to my next comp date 2009???!?!? I will have had enough time to get things right and perhaps a few private lessons for posing -itsfunny how life changes and changes your mind isnt it? ok off to the ANB workshop-hope you all are going well. drop me a line if you feel the need!

give me strength...

I had an ok wicked pole dancing lesson on friday night, and then went to a 21st birthday party of one of the pole dancing divas on Saturday night. Although I have been trying to cut back on how much I do one the weekends etc I felt that I could attend this outing without making myself tired the next day. Tim took my pics on saturday but I was unimpressed by everything -ba my back. this has always been the strongest part of me. Tim commented that he didnt know how i can train am and pm like a maniac and then still do other things like practice posing and routines etc.. I dont either..In fact Im thinking I will just try this ANB comp for October 6 Novice figure and then go back to training and eating to gain lean muscle.Financially, Emotionally, Physically and Mentally this year has placed a great strain on me. I spoke to Josh about it and he asked what triggered my self doubt and going off track minimally eating wise.. I feel that I am always not good enough because in the past those that dont even know me or how hard it is with Uc and As to keep on truckin' think they can and have judged me. My looks attitude character and decisions. Im sure everyone has their ups and downs that are similar to me-but does any one ever take into consideration tryingto be better than everyone else on stage when its hard enough just making your body do what it does not want to do in the first place?

Honestly -im not winging just saying how it is....I will look forward to completing this journey-training for a year and then coming back at a National standard-at leastIll still have my routine if I choose another federation to ompete in-and use it-the routine Jo cleverly choreographed....

jewel...

awake!

This is how i feel when i take the supplement Scorch.However for the past few nights i have been the opposite. I even bailed on my hubby when we had planned on meeting his friends who had come down from Warnambool on the weekend. Yesterday we also met with his parents and sister who coincidently also came down from the big W to see the children:) It was great to get out and do something unrelated to training. However it does allow temptation to be more present. I had a Flat White(skinny of course!!!) at the Glorious Jeans at Chadstone. when i got home I went straight back to bed(3pm-5pm) and was so tired I even went to bed at 8pm-grateful that Timmy had left half an hour earlier to catch up for drinks with his mates. I often wonder how our friends and family put up with us when we are competing. It must be hard when the competitor feels unsure of themselves, unconfident or snappy-due to something that they impose on themselves. I do make a conscious effort to think about how why and when I repsond, to comments or things that wouldnt usually irritate me.

I have recently been needing "MY TIME".maning when I do my cardio on my Xtrainer or bike in the lounge room:) i need that room all to myself. Otherwise Timmy wants the windows and doors closed and it makes the room too stuffy and hot. I also dont want to be looked at while Im sweating it out-just for fear that a negative comment orjudgement comes my way. I have been told and know that I have fairly low self esteem and am trying to learn how to deal with negative feedback in a positive ways-ie make what they say a challenge if

I feel that there is some truth in their words... and this includes in the area of my fitness. and competing. The previous nights for the last few weeks have been a hard slog as my hubby has asthma and is a noisy breather and when i say noisy i mena NOY SAY! so of course one has to try to make up for that lost sleep....

Tim and I are currently trying to amend my bikes"chain" as it feels very clunky and rattly to ride-and its a good brand bike!!!! We got some wd40 and hope that it will help us get to the chain as I have enjoyed mixung my cardio equiptment up so to pass the boredom that is cardio!!!

I went to pole dancing Friday night and was impressed at how much energy I had...as i had just done an hours worth cardio and my weights session in the am. The mind body connection is SO important. If the mind isnt there how can expect to perfomr at your peak?

Ok enough Dalai lama dribble:)

gotta split like a banana-hahahaha-ok not funnay:)

another one bites the dust

Hi all!

I have ben sticking to my program and diet for this week and had a treat this weekedn. Just the white chocolate icing of my hubby's cheesecake and a flat white.
I have been having some insomnia again lately and fear it may be due to the supplements I have been taking. but have been feeling better today. I hope that these good vibrations keep happening. Friday I was a bit bummed about not getting my DVD from Jo rogers-but understand as I know she has hurt her foot pretty bad!!!! The second thing i was bummed about was the fact that my gstring lady rang and she too was feeling crook. so i didnt end up getting my bikini either...

But apart from that things are going well. I really want to loose some more body fat but will just have to wait and see as nothing seems to be moving much. I have increased my cardio sessions by 5 mins daily and another 5 next week to see if i can burn off some ab flab.

I hope all is well with those feeling a bit low due to personal issues. My thoughts are with you and so are my prayers.

all my xmas's have come at once

Well, sort of-my package from bb.com came to work place. and im picking up my bikini from Helen on Friday. And on Friday my new blinds are coming foe the house, i'm getting new locks on the doors, a new hair cut and color and new security mesh on the screen doors! Not only that but I got word from Jo that my routine is being sent to me. so i am a happy chappy. The only thing I really need to work on is curbing my appetite between meals, and getting the energetic feeling back into my cardio workouts. Its almost feeling like a chore to do and Im only doing the minimal amount now! What i would do for a piece of fruit! josh has also told me in not so many words that I need to work on my posing..so ill get onto that-even though I have been practicing nearly every night. I dont have many poses in my reporoir right now but I guess rome wasnt built in a day. If anyone has any ideas how to stop the need to munch between lunches let me know-and any good DVD on figure posing. :) hope all is well to all my femme fatale friends!

epiphany

Greetings all –Ive finally got myself together and have written out a list of things to do and when is the best time to do them.

For a few weeks Ive been going and doing things randomly and I don’t feel that this way works for me. I am usually highly organized-but happy to change plans if something better/or way comes alongJ

I have made all meals and re Assesed my training program.

I will be posting my weight and fat % up on this blog each week to let u all know how I am traveling-and of course sending it to Josh my consultancy trainer.

I am still having one meal a week where I have something different (last night being BBQ chook without skin-its really not as bad as it sounds-I still had my green beans with it. I have been fairly tired but that is of course because a lot of emotional things re relationships and work have been going on.

I seem to be coping better now-and relish Sundays when my hubby Tim goes to Golf and I have the afternoon free to entertain myself with friends or some alone time.

Sundays has been the day I have christened as JEWEL DAY where I take my bf measures, weigh myself, re asses my training program and attitude and put in place means to make both better and of course Blog to let y’all know what I am doing.

I had a groin injury-a lot like Osteo pubis due to my AS and also pinched my rotator cuff but after having a kick up the a## for being too gung ho with my shoulder training by hubby and Josh, have re planned my weight programJ
I can also see the top of my two pack coming out which is always nice-I think it’d be good to get two every three weeks-Im sure to get my six by this timeJ

Ok I better go now as I need to practice my posing and am looking forward to receiving my posing routine from Jo Rogers!!! Did I tell you I am picking up my Bikini from Helen Navarre and getting my blonde hair redone next Friday-Its all happening!
Ps I am thinking of taking a long week off after my comps this year-something I have NEVER done except when hospitalized for one or two things and then it was only for a few days.

Anyway-sparkles and shine to you all femme fatales!

Weight 54.5-5kg BF % 12-13% :) (mainly in my Booty! And I don’t mean feet!!)
ive also had the epiphany that i should just make and create diet and prog on my own as i know what im doing and its less stress

hi five

Bargain!
220707
My hubby tim and I were running out of optimum whey protein and during the week I had rung around many shops and finally was told that only Greater earth stocked it and could ship it from their city store to Camberwell. Tim and I dropped into Vitamin me which is where we get all our products just in case they had sealed a better deal with the Us to import and sell it cheaper than previous. It had become extinct in that store for now but at least they put my name down to order it in when they stocked up again. There are two stores in Camberwell Riversdale and burke RD so we went to the one( min down the road from where the protein were being kept for us.) we were not getting it from. They didn’t tell us prices over the phoneL and I was SHOCKED at the price-162d each if you got two (more for just one) 10pd chocolate protein powder bag of optimum whey. I asked the server if they could do a deal for three and it came to 155d each.

Tim and I looked stunned at eachother and since timmy is so good with his money he suggested that we go to check if the prices were the same at the store we were getting the OW shipped to. We got to the Riversdale RD store and they were waiting for us. We looked at the price tag. It said 100d each then I asked how much for the two and it came down to 92d each. I checked it was the right flavour and paid. I noticed timmy getting jittery and he didn’t really respond to my offer of a high five freeze frame…. I asked when the prices were going to go up. And she said that it was going to go up very soon. She picked up the phone after referring to the price list folder.

You know when the penny finally drops and you start thinking and seeing things in slow motion..I understood that she was going to ring the store that had nearly jipped us so I turned to Timmy and mouthed RUN! So we did and waved to her as we went by the shop window and back to our car. We couldn’t keep the smile off our faces and I don’t think Tim has every seen me smile so much not even on our wedding day! Apart from this I have ordered some more supplements over BB.Com and hope to be receiving them next week. The Aus Dollar seemed to good to be true as did the prices overseas. My friend Suzy who I have and am helping to gain fitness and a new figure, had a ten percent discount voucher from BB.Com. Last time we ordered stuff, I used the one I had received.

Apparently if you only order every three months they continue to send a ten percent incentive voucher to get you to buy up big again. But Suzy and I have been taking in turns to use these valuable offers. BARGAIN!
I trained legs today and am so sore that I have had to lie down or stay seated all day. Granted I also went for a walk as I felt that this may b easier than riding my exercise bike or Xtrainer for my hip flexors and tie ins (Hammiis) which have become increasingly sore. This may be due to my AS as it has been cold and these areas tend to get quite stiff to the point that it feels like they have been torn off the bone-seriously. I amazed my self again by supersetting smith squats and leg presses one after the other and then hack squat and leg extention.

I had a bit of a blow out this weekend. It may not seem like that to you-replacing tuna with shakes and having a flat white coffee, but I didn’t feel good about doing it after the fact. I have been under some considerable stress in regards to trainers etc this whole year. And have felt quite undervalued as a client, competitor and person because of it. My self esteem unfortunately usually rests in the hands and words of others ie:I depend on encouragement and praise from those I am being guided by. Maybe many competitors feel this way this close to the comp-I doubt I will make it in fact to that stage and it is only week eleven. Not because I don’t train or “diet” hard enough. But because when I feel others don’t have faith in me or try to make things harder for me than need be, I tend to collapse under the weight of my own depression and feelings of being overwhelmed.
Many people her have helped me when I have mentioned here and there my doubts about myself in certain areas, and I appreciate their words of encouragement so much. I have been corresponding with Jas from online training MBS, and even though I am not her trainee she has been wonderful to me. I guess I still don’t feel as supported as I thought I would be and that I have wasted a lot of time and money handing over what I know how to do already. I appreciate my current consultancy trainer as I felt at the time I needed someone to hold my hand especially with the “dieting phase”. And I still need help there but I’m not getting it…and feel lost and alone……